


bi update: still bi.

by tiredmoons



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, but still Supportive !, dan howell: bisexual., girls are beautiful and dan appreciates that, phil is just trying to edit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 15:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15844428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiredmoons/pseuds/tiredmoons
Summary: don't worry, dan howell is still bi.





	bi update: still bi.

**Author's Note:**

> i've always found fanfics about real people a little bit weird tbh but i got this idea and there was no stopping me. probably a little messy and not that great but it's been so long since i've written literally anything so ! let me know what you think !

sometimes dan questions his sexuality again,  not in a way that leaves him angry, confused and frustrated like years ago but just time to time little thoughts pop into his head, little tiny fleeting thoughts running quickly through his mind.  he’s been focusing on his attraction to men these past couple of months, maybe even years, both privately and publicly, so much to make up for the times he denied himself that, not really noticing any women the way he once did.  publicly way too loud to try to convince others ( and himself ) that there was nothing there for men. he’s also been with phil for so long, he’s the only person dan wants so in the end, it doesn’t really matter.  _ right? _

 

_ what if i’m not bi, what if i’m just gay?  if i’m going to be with phil for the rest of my life then why does it really matter?   _

 

he’s more than aware that’s not exactly how sexuality works and probably a tad bit problematic   _ (  he’s always a tad bit problematic  )  _ but he still can’t escape these thoughts,  not enough to obsess over but enough to bring up to his therapist,  who didn’t really have the answer he was looking for.

 

on his way home,  getting an uber because after his session he stopped by the grocery store because  **_someone_ ** ate all his cereal, he also needed to pick up something for dinner but he didn’t really mind.  it was nice to walk around the store but a pain in the ass to walk back home with groceries. so,  dan is just walking down the isles with no real purpose, just not ready to leave yet, letting his mind work through the session _ ( not in a bad way though, he doesn’t leave feeling like he wants to hide anymore. he actually feels so incredibly free.  ) _  then he’s stopping in the cake isle.  he stares for a few moments and anyone who saw this would’ve just thought he was just trying to decide what cake to buy but really all that was going through his head was  _ one day i’m going to bake the hell out of some cakes for the kids bake sales.   _ kids weren’t part of the plan for at least a few more years but  _ heck,  dan howell was gonna fantasize about being the best damn dad until he’s ready to live that life  _ **_dammit_ ** _.  _

 

right, back to the uber.  he wasn’t really paying any attention to the driver, just asks who the car is for to make sure it was his before checking some email’s on his phone.  about halfway home he looks up and  **_holy shit_ ** his breath gets caught in his throat,  he even starts coughing because  _ wow _ he was not expecting this girl to be so beautiful and even least expecting:   **_him noticing_ ** .

 

the girl’s eyes widen,  turning back to look at him because they’re stopped in traffic.  “ there’s water in the basket back there. ” all dan can do is nod and wave in her direction,  like he’s trying to say thanks,  **_don’t worry, won’t die in the back of your uber_ ** while, well, trying not to die in the back of her uber from the lack of air in his lungs from the coughing fit.    _ good going, howell.   _

 

“ shit, thanks. ”  dan speaks into the silent car and he gets no response other than another smile and  _ wow,  beautiful smile,   _ he notes _. _

 

not as beautiful as phil’s,  of course, no one’s smile ( or anyone’s anything ) ever could be but they’re not the kind of couple that doesn’t allow the other to simply look, appreciate other’s beauty, have tiny crushes that the other can tease them about.   while jealousy might’ve been a problem in their early years it isn’t so much anymore. they’ve grown up a lot, they know what they mean to each other and there’s no worry about being forgotten because they’re soulmates, best friends, life partners and that’s worth so much more than just appreciating the beauty of another person,  because people are beautiful and fascinating but no one could ever be as beautiful and fascinating as the person he’s built a life with. 

 

so yeah,  he looks a little bit longer than necessary and appreciates the way her laugh sounds when he makes a joke that he only said to make her laugh.  he’s hardcore blushing and there’s no way she’s not noticing but it’s fine,  _  it’s so fine.  _

 

“ call me sometime. ”  she says nervously as she stops the car in front of the apartment building,  shy smile and soft giggles as he fumbles out of the car trying not to drop the groceries.  he gives a shy smile right back, nodding even though he of course doesn’t have any intentions of doing so but he’s dan and he lacks social skills.  

 

“ the bread winner has entered the home. ”  phil rolls his eyes at dan’s words from the couch, finishing up editing the video that was supposed to go up yesterday but they got a little wine drunk and ended up having a bath that ended up with them ---   _ you know what? _  the point is,  didn’t get around to it.  

 

“ the bread winner didn’t go anywhere. ”  is the only vocal response dan receives as he makes his way to the kitchen to put the groceries away,  face still blotchy and his heart still racing a little bit. 

 

once the groceries are put away and the cereal is hidden, only enough to make it fun, he makes his way to the couch and lays down, putting his feet on phil’s side and poking with his toes a little bit.  phil doesn’t look up from the laptop but he does reach a hand down, poking dan’s big toe with his finger before going back to his task. “ how was it? ” 

 

dan smiles,  grateful that phil still asks even when dan already has plans to tell him when he wasn’t so busy.  “ great, 12 out of 10 therapy, picked up something for dinner because we can’t have take out again, we’re gonna start being hardcore judged. then my uber driver was probably the most beautiful girl in the world so in case you were worried and needed a bi update from me,  still bi. ” 

 

phil chuckles a little bit,  still clicking away on his laptop but still paying attention to dan’s words,  he always is even on his long rants about nothing, phil is still paying attention.  “ congrats. ” 

  
“ thank you. ”  and with that they fall into a comfortable silence,  phil still editing and dan trying to find a game to play but just ended up scrolling on twitter until phil was done.  

dan eventually got a kiss on the head when phil got up to go to the bathroom and dan smiles, yeah. people are beautiful, men and women, everything in between, but no one will  **_ever ever_ ** compare in anyway. no one will ever make dan howell feel the way phil lester does,  no one besides phil will ever be home to dan,  no one will ever be his safe place, his best friend and soulmate. _and wow, he’s so fucking happy about that._


End file.
